Starting a Cult is the nineth episode of Do's & Don'ts.
Plot[]
LaBarbeque comes in and asks what the other kids are doing. Jimmy explains that they're building a church because "real church is boring" and Susie admits that she goes just to look at Jesus's abs. Jimmy explains that their church is going to be "awesome and cool and yes, black people are invited."
Their first mission of starting their cult is to get naive people to listen to them. At a movie theater, Jimmy, Susie and LaBarbeque all shout about Wall Street (rather, Jimmy and LaBarbecue are because Susie ranted about how she got fat). A moviegoer said that they are thinking what their thinking. Their next step is to provide something for the members to get answers from, like God. Clyde presents Quiri, in which Jimmy thinks that it sounds gay, but Clyde argues that it uses the word "query" for questions. Clyde decides to use a gay talking peice of poop (that Clyde found and technologically modified in five minutes) and called it Quiri. Jimmy tests this by asking, "What is the meaning of life?" Quiri answers: "Ryan Gosselin." Their next step is to find a celebrity to sponsor them. Jimmy manages to get Jean Claude Van Dan to sponsor them. Their next step is to establish rules to live by and consequences to punish. LaBarbeque suggests something worse than Hell, but Jimmy suggests that disobeyers will be subject to watch all of Jean Claude Van Dan's movies while he punches you in the back of the head.
Pretty soon the whole world knows about Quiri and everyone gets their own Quiri to ask for guidance (though Jimmy still thinks it sounds gay). The kids then tell people that if Quiri doesn't respond, they must give them money (or cupcakes). The kids start to spread their cult around, calling themselves "quirs" while some actual gay people think they are gay. People start to either join the cult or continue worship God, which soon calls for a "God-off" between the kids and the Pope. The kids manage to overtake Christianity and higher-ranking officials must wear everything to represent Quiri and are now to be referred to as "S***heads." The president has also declared world peace since then. However, Jimmy starts to grow bored of the cult. In the future, people continue to worship Quiri and will kill anyone that opposes Quiri.
Characters[]
- Jimmy
- LaBarbeque
- Susie
- Jacob
- Clyde
- Dotty Pepperidge
- Gregory (cameo)
- Gidget (cameo)
- Vicky (cameo)
- Pigmantius (cameo)